


J-3-1-G

by thats_pretty_asexual_of_you



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Fire Monster, Gen, Government Experimentation, Rage Monster, Religious Cults, Robot Feels, Robots, Sci-Fi, Science Fiction, Suspense, Thriller, robot/human friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:01:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24899593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thats_pretty_asexual_of_you/pseuds/thats_pretty_asexual_of_you
Relationships: Ace/J31G
Kudos: 17





	1. The Beginning

M3GAN3 CORP ROBOTICS

STARTUP INITIATING…

5…  
4…  
3…  
2…  
1…

STARTUP COMPLETE.  
_______________________________________

Clack clack clack.

“Hey.”

Clack clack clack.

“Hey, Robot Dude. You awake? On? Activated? Whatever?”

J-3-1-G was activated shakily to those two sentences. As soon as his visor opened it was bombarded with errors and damage alerts. If robots could get headaches, he definitely would’ve gotten one. His vision was blurred by pop-up errors and a shaky vision feed glitching and flickering. Too much. Too much to process. Who am I? Where am I? Why am I here?

“Oh shit! I didn’t expect that to work!” a voice said behind him. He registered it immediately: female. Young, a teenager perhaps. Passive. Small. The voice compelled him to turn around to face her, whoever she was. He barely turned a couple inches before sparks flew and smoke started rolling out of every crack it could. “Oh Jesus,” the girl said, “you’re just all kinds of messed up. You are just not having a good time are you buddy?”

That's the last thing he heard before he shut down again.  
_______________________________________

“...and that should do it!”

A bright flash of blue light. Sight. He could see. His vision feed was filled with grey. Lots of it. Flickering white lights buzzed. He could feel fabric covering him...as close to “feel” as he could, anyway. He couldn’t turn his head to look around, but based on what he could see and hear, he was in some sort of shop. There were tools and grease everywhere. Robot limbs twitched on a table near him. Saws and welders loudly whirred in the background. A small message popped up in the lower right-hand corner of his vision: SEARCHING FOR IMPRINT. 

“God, finally. Thought you died or something,” a voice said. The voice sounded familiar. His memory files identified it, although shakily. It was her. The girl. He couldn’t move enough to face the voice, which was inconvenient. “Thanks for giving me a hand, I really appreciate it,” the girl said, and a male voice responded, “No problem, Ace. You know you're always welcome here. How’s your father doing?” Ace. So that was her name. A strange one. Was it a nickname perhaps? 

Ace hesitated for a moment before responding, “Fine. He’s doing fine.” It was silent for a few moments before the man said, “Alrighty. Lemme just flip this bucket of bolts up here and I’ll let you see how I updated this old thing.” Suddenly, J31G was flipped upward, standing straight up and forward. He then saw the man who was speaking, only he was wearing some sort of mask, so J31G couldn’t see his face, which he didn’t really care about.

He then saw the small figure next to him: Ace. The girl. She was also wearing a mask, which gave J31G that powerfully unpleasant sensation of inconvenience once again. The fabric that was covering his body adruptly fell off. Ace shrieked a little and quickly turned. “What? He too ugly for you, sweetheart?” the man asked, to which Ace replied, “Come on, Rick, he’s naked.” The man, Rick, suddenly laughed. It was big and loud and hurt J31G’s audio sensors.

“Ace, honey, the poor old robot is like a damn Ken doll. Poor bastard doesn’t have any sex organs, you know. He’s not that kind of bot,” Rick said, turning to look back at J31G. “I don’t care. He’s still naked,” Ace retorted, “put some clothes on him or something.” Rick then turned back to the obviously flustered Ace and said, “But how’re you gonna see the—“ The girl interrupted him, snapping, “I don’t care! As long as it turns on and moves I don’t care what you did to it! Just cover it up already, please?” 

Rick sighed, looking from Ace to J31G, then replied, “Fine. What kind of clients are you selling this thing to? And if it matters, his model number if J-3-1-G.” Ace remained turned away as she said, “Some rich family that lives in a gated neighborhood. Said they needed it ‘take care’” — she said this with air quotes — “of their newborn while they were working. But we both know they bought the bot to raise their baby and not watch it...and no, it doesn’t matter.” J31G managed to catch one last glimpse of the girls mask before being deactivated yet again.  
_______________________________________

Drag. Drag.

This was the sound J31G was greeted with as he reactivated. The same annoying message popped up into his vision: SEARCHING FOR IMPRINT…

“God, fuck, why are you so heavy dude?” J31G registered the voice nearly immediately: Ace. He tried to look over at her, but she was still wearing that same cat mask. Her eyes were completely shielded and no facial features could be identified. This irritated him, for whatever reason. He then examined his surroundings. A pathway — no, no, a driveway. Quite a large one at that. He seemed to be strapped tightly down to a dolly by a mixture of rope, duct tape, and bungee cords. Strange but effective, as J31G could not free himself when he tried to. 

He also seemed to be wearing clothing this time: a simple look, with the dress shirt and tie and whatnot, along with a trenchcoat and what he assumed was a hat. Hm. Formal. He approved.

A male voice suddenly shouted down, “Will you hurry it up a tad? I got a really important meeting to attend tomorrow and my husband has his pitch to work on.” Ace’s angry muttering could be heard as she continued to lug J31G up the driveway at a snail's pace. The robot decided to use this weakness to his advantage, and mapped a plan of action as they slowly continued up. After a few more steps, J31G threw himself against his restraints as hard as he could. Just as he’d hope, Ace couldn’t hold him, and yelled out as she fell backward, letting go of J31G in an attempt to catch herself.

When her face hit the ground, the mask split in half and violently bounced away down the driveway. J31G just managed to look down far enough to meet Ace’s gaze when she opened her eyes.

And that was all he needed.

A bright light suddenly flashed, and Ace yelled out in pain, covering her eyes. The message in the corner of his vision now read: IMPRINT SUCCESSFUL. Then it disappeared as J31G watched, in fascination, as his software began rapidly mapping out Ace’s body: eyes first, skeletal structure, then the vital organs, the vessels and veins, then the skin, and finally the clothing. She suddenly grew a sort of halo of purple light around her body as she slowly removed her hands from her face and sat up.

A sense of urgency to remove his restraints and go to her arised. He wasn’t sure why until bold, purple letters appeared right above her head: ADMINISTRATOR. Then everything quickly clicked into place. Her. He belonged to her. She was his owner. He needed to be with her. J31G slowly sat up to study her more intently, straining against the ropes as he watched Ace rub her temples. Automated thoughts rushed to his head. Was she hurt? Did she need his attention? The restraints groaned as J31G struggled to remove them. 

“Oh my god!! You stupid, clumsy bitch, did you break my robot?!” the male voice shouted. J31G turned around slightly to see a skinny man dressed in a robe and slippers start stomping down the driveway towards her. The urgency of getting to Ace amplified as the man drew closer. “S-Sorry sir, I don’t think it’s broken. I just-“ Ace began, her voice a little shaky and her heartbeat rising. The man finally reached her, and at this point J31G was pulling on those ropes hard to try and break them. 

The approaching man first went over to J31G, waving his hand in front of his face, but his gaze remained fixated on the teen. The man then grabbed Ace suddenly by the arm and yanked her to her feet. He then grabbed her face and violently began shaking her. “You klutz, you DUMPSTER RAT! What did you do?! Did you STEAL IT FROM ME?!” the man yelled, and finally J31Gs bonds finally snapped. Next thing he knew, he had the man's arm, bending it to a near-breaking point, and Ace was slumped on the ground, safe.

“Please don’t do that,” J31G said suddenly. This surprised both the man and Ace, as he had chosen to remain silent for the duration of his activation. The man then howled in pain and started swearing, to which J31G ever so slightly twisted his arm and responded, “If you do not stand down politely and step away, I will be forced to subdue you for Ace’s protection.” Just to make sure, J31G turned to look at her. She was staring up at him with a mixed expression of fear and confusion. Nothing seemed broken or bruised. All positive signs.

J31G suddenly felt the man smack the back of his head, then began to yell at Ace, “You! You whore! You did this on purpose! I’ll fuckin’ kill you! You’re DEAD!” That seemed to trigger something in J31G, as he proceeded to snap his arm in half and let him fall to the ground. The robed man screamed in pain, screaming, “MY ARM! YOU BROKE MY FUCKING ARM!” J31G simply tilted his head and replied, “Yes, yes I did. You threatened Ace’s life.” J31G turned to see if Ace was still doing okay, but she wasn’t there. Instead she had taken off running down the driveway towards the sidewalk.

J31G turned to the man groaning on the floor, then stomped on his ankle. The robed man screamed again, yelling, “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!” J31G simply brushed himself off and replied, “Just in case.” Then he took off after the girl, leaving the robed man to shout at him behind him. He had to catch up with Ace. Where did she go? 

He scanned up and down the road until he spotted her heat signature, her hoodie thrown over her head, concealing her face. J31G quickly ran towards her, but when she saw him she started running again. “Ace!” he shouted, “Ace, where are you going?” The girl just kept running, shouting, “What do you want? How do you know my name? Get away from me!” Although running, J31G was obviously faster, and quickly caught up to Ace, latching on to her arm to keep her in place. “Ace, what's the matter?” J31G asked, intently studying her as she struggled to pull out of his grip. “What do you mean ‘what's the matter?’! Why don’t you go ask your owner and his BROKEN ARM!” 

J31G confusedly tilted his head. “He is not my administrator. You are,” he said, and Ace suddenly froze. Her gaze slowly rose to meet his. “What?” she said, and J31G repeated, “You are my administrator, Ace.” Ace’s eyes widened, and then violently yanked her arm away and screamed, “FUCK! Aw fuck, fuck, fuck!” She began pacing back and forth in front of J31G as he quietly observed her. She then flipped down her hood and ran her hands through her hair, saying, “Do you have any idea how deep in shit I am? I am SCREWED!” Her increased heart rate and increase in cortisol suggested she was incredibly distressed. 

“Ace, may I—“ J31G began, but Ace cut him off. “No! Just…don’t!” she said, and held her head in her hand and muttered, “Rick. I got to talk to Rick about this. Maybe he can undo...whatever the hell.” J31G remained silent as she looked up at him. He took this moment to really look at her. He never realized she was so...small. Her head barely came up to where a human sternum would be. She was quite thin too; the sweatshirt she was wearing was big and baggy, her jeans ripped up and a bit dirty. Messy hair. Big eyes. She didn’t look like she could fend for herself very well. 

Suddenly she grabbed J31G by the wrist and pulled him forward. “Come on,” she said, “we’re going back to the shop to fix this.” J31G was surprised by her strength as she yanked him down the street, around the corner and down an alleyway to a small garage opening. Ace quickly bent down and threw the door open, shouting, “Rick! We got a problem here!” The inside was completely dark; J31G couldn’t find a single light source. Ace also squinted into the darkness, yelling, “Rick? Are you in here?” She tried to step inside but J31G held her back as his audio sensors picked up a sudden dripping noise.

“Wait,” he said, but Ace shrugged him off. “Let go of me,” she snapped, then took a few more steps in, feeling her hand along the wall until suddenly light flooded out. The first few seconds were silent. Then Ace let out a anguished, guttural scream as she saw Rick, his mask still on, blood dripping off the table he was sitting at. The dripping sound J31G had heard earlier. The body was fresh, only a few hours old according to the J31G’s calculations. Ace shouted Rick’s name and tried to run to him, but J31G immediately grabbed her around the waist and held her back. 

“No! It's not safe here, Ace, we need to leave,” he said. But she wasn’t listening. She screamed and pounded on his arm, shouting to let go of her, but he refused. His grip only tightened as she struggled. She eventually ran out of energy and collapsed into his chest, sobbing violently. Suddenly J31G picked up another heat signature and immediately picked her up off her knees and put her on her feet, quickly shoving her behind him as he locked on to the mysterious signature. 

“Ace! There you are my little Fire Flower,” a voice suddenly said. Male. Older, late 20s perhaps. A smooth voice, yet something about it made J31G on edge. “Identify yourself!” J31G shouted, glancing back at Ace to check on her. Her face was contorted with fear, and she seemed to be visibly shaking. Increased heartbeat, sweating. She was afraid. More than afraid. Terrified.

“Ah, I see you got a new pet! How fun,” the man continued. Footsteps began to approach from behind some shelves, which J31G watched intently as he slowly started to step towards the exit, pushing Ace with him. “Identify yourself or I will do so for you!” J31G shouted again. The footsteps paused for a moment, before finally a figure came out from behind the shelves. It was a tall man, taller than even J31G. His face was concealed by a purple mask, both eyes completely white. Black and gray streaks came out of them, and he was wearing a black suit.

Ace suddenly latched onto the back of J31G’s coattails, trembling. “How did you find me?” she shouted. J31G looked down at her, then back at the man, who had gotten closer. “Its not hard to find you, my darling,” he said, before pulling out a newspaper and tossing it to the ground between them. “Mysterious purple fire engulfs an apartment complex, killing seventy and injuring one hundred,” the man said, “if I recall, there’s only one diety that can cause such destruction.” 

The frightened girl shouted back, “I’m not your goddamn deity! Why won’t you just leave me alone?” Suddenly, the masked figure tilted his head and simply said, “Come along, little flower. Time to come home.” He then suddenly lunged at them, to which J31G quickly tossed Ace aside and punched him out of the air, sending the masked figure crashing into a table. The man suddenly whistled, and more similarly dressed individuals jumped out from every surface; under the tables, from the shelves, even from the rafters.

J31G quickly ran to Ace, grabbed her, and slung her over his shoulders onto his back. She yelled out, startled and shouted, “What the hell are you doing?” But she immediately held on when J31G took off running. He could hear the man screaming behind him, but completely ignored it as he quickly scanned the alleyway for an escape route. He quickly mapped out a way via fire escapes, and he immediately began to climb. Ace clung on to him as he did so, letting out small shrieks whenever he jumped. They quickly made it to the roof, where he didn’t even stop to check if the assailants were still chasing them. J31G just kept running. 

After God knows how long jumping from roof to roof, J31G finally paused on an apartment rooftop and looked back. Nobody was chasing them. Good. Suddenly he felt Ace’s grip release, and he quickly spun around to catch her before she hit the ground. “Thanks,” she muttered as J31G set her down gently. “Of course. And if you don’t mind, I would also like to ask a question,” J31G said, to which Ace sighed and said, “You wanna know who those guys were, huh?” The robot nodded. But Ace didn’t answer; instead, she just walked over to the roof edge and looked out at the distant cityscape. 

“They’re none of your damn business!” She snapped suddenly. She then whipped around to angrily face J31G. “What the hell was that back there? Are you a maniac? You just left Rick there! How could you just leave him? Why didn’t you help him?” she yelled, tears beginning to brim her eyes. J31G didn’t respond for a moment, but then said, “He was already deceased. There was nothing I could do.” 

The anger seemed to dissipate slowly as she suddenly charged at him and started punching him. Obviously, he couldn’t feel it, but he could hear her small fists attempting to put a dent in him, which ultimately failed as a few minutes later she slumped into him in defeat. “Now what?” she asked, but it felt more like a rhetorical question, so J31G didn’t answer. She then looked up at him, eyes red from crying. They looked so large, so doll-like. “So...I guess I’m stuck with you for now, huh?” Ace asked, and the robot replied, “I suppose you are, yes.” 

Ace then stared off into the cityscape again before saying, “Well, I ain’t calling you J-3-1-G. That’s too long.” She thought for a moment before she said, “Hmm. J-3-1-G…How about I call you Big?” J31G tiled his head, then said, “I’d like that.” Ace grinned for the first time since he’d met her. It was wide and kind of goofy-looking. He liked it. He wanted to see more of that smile.

Ace clapped her hands together and sighed.

“Well, then. Come on Big. Let's go home.”


	2. Old Friends

Big had to say, this wasn’t what he was expecting when Ace had said home.

As the girl walked in front of him, leading the way, Big surveyed the surrounding area. It wasn’t the most...comfortable living situation he had ever seen, and he hasn’t seen much. Squatters old and young were sitting around tents; small fires were lit by old posters and newspapers. They all seemed to stop and stare at Big as he followed Ace, and he found it quite unsettling. Ace, fortunately, went up to an old, wooden door and pulled out a key. A couple of children ran past, but stopped to stare at Big. They were so small they had to back up a few steps so they didn’t strain their necks trying to take a look.

“Big? You coming?” Ace asked suddenly, to which Big followed her into what he assumed was her home. As soon as he entered and surveyed the space, he realized her living situation wasn’t much better. The room was filthy; food wrappers and soda cans were scattered on the floor and every surface seemed to be covered in dust. The living room led to an open kitchen, where more food wrappers were scattered. Pots and pans were stacked high, thick with grime. Overall, incredibly poor living conditions for a teen. “You live here?” he asked. “Yep,” she replied.

Big took this opportunity to explore a bit more. He went over to the kitchen and creaked open a cabinet, only for the handle to pop off. Oops. He quickly set it aside and examined the contents. He could only see cans of spaghetti and cups of instant noodles, as well as a large bag of chips. Nothing of any real nutritional value he could spot. The fridge wasn’t much better. Nothing but soda, half a bottle of juice and milk. At least she was getting her required calcium intake. Hopefully, anyway. Big couldn’t spot any water, and from the way the dishes were stacked he could say the tap hadn't run for some time. She must be incredibly dehydrated.

“Ace, I don’t believe this living space, nor your eating habits, are particularly healthy,” Big said, but Ace just looked up at him with an annoyed expression. “I’ve been doing fine so far,” she replied, “as long as I’m alive and functioning, I really don’t give a shit.” Big found this mindset threatening to her overall health. He noted some changes he would have to make in order to create a better environment as he continued exploring.

He opened another door, and found what he assumed to be her bedroom. The space was rather small, and the ceiling was low. He had to bend down to enter it properly. The space was equally as messy. Clothes scattered about everywhere, messy bed. He then spotted a framed picture on a nearby dresser: Ace, though a little younger, an older man, and an older girl. Her family, he assumed. He was suddenly pushed aside, and Ace entered, kneeling on the floor and prying a floorboard from the ground and pulled out a large duffel bag.

Big watched as she slung it over her shoulder and then grabbed every piece of fabric, item, or anything she owned that she apparently touched and tossed it out a window. Big was about to inquire what she was doing before she pulled out a box of matches and a bottle of lighter fluid out of her bag and set the whole pile on fire. The amount of alarm in Big only heightened as she ushered him out of the room, slamming the door shut. “Ace, what-!?” he began, but she shushed him and just shoved him out the front door.

The homeless surrounding them suddenly took more interest in the pair as she and Big wound through them. Ace was walking quickly, so fast that Big had a hard time keeping up with her. “Ace!” he shouted, “Ace, wait!” But then suddenly, he was interrupted by several loud bangs. The homeless people immediately shouted: “Police!” They all began to scatter into their tents and cover up with blankets and such. As they dispersed, Big, incredibly alarmed, began looking for Ace, of whom he’d lost in the crowd. He called her name but gained no response until he heard her voice. “Hey! Get the fuck off me! Let me go you fucking creep!” she shouted, and Big tracked the voice and found a man dragging her away, around the corner.

Big, completely ignoring the people still scattering, pushed through them and ran after the man. As soon as Big turned the corner, he saw the man begin picking her up and carrying her towards a blue van parked down the road. The logo was one he did not recognize: a white circle with a black silhouette of a man with a lab coat with the initials M.C.S.O painted underneath. Big began running after the man, shouting, but as soon as the man turned to see him he began running towards the van.

Obviously, Big was far faster, and managed to tackle the man, who dropped Ace to the ground with a loud thud. The van immediately peeled away from the curb and down the road, and Big watched it as it went whilst dragging the man off of Ace and flipping him over to face him. The man first tried to punch his way to freedom, but because of his pre-programmed self defense protocols, Big was quick to subdue him, pinning his arms down to his sides and punching him repeatedly in the face, hard. “Okay, okay, stop! Please, man, please!” the man shouted.

Big stopped, then looked up to see Ace still sitting on the sidewalk. She had scraped her cheek when she hit the sidewalk, and was bleeding slightly. He made a note to treat the wound when they were in a safer environment and turned back to the man, grabbing him by the collar of his dirty shirt and yanking him close to his face. The man was skinny, early 20's maybe, with disheveled black hair and bloodshot eyes. His clothes were ragged and torn. Another homeless, he assumed. The man was quick to throw his hands up in surrender.

“Who are you?” Big demanded. “Look, man, I’m sorry. Please don’t fuck me up. Um, my name is Chris,” the man said. “Okay, Chris,” Big began, then pinned him down with his knee and grabbed one hand. “We’re going to play a game. I like to call it...five finger roulette. When I ask a question, you respond with the truth. Don’t tell the truth?” He then bent one of his fingers down to near breaking, and Chris yelled in pain before saying, “Okay, dude, okay! I’m sorry!” Big then proceeded to ask, “What were you doing?” The man, trembling, didn’t respond for a moment.

Big then snapped his finger in half, making the man scream. “FUCK! Okay, okay. Listen. I’m innocent, dude! Some weird guys in real fancy suits came up to me. Said they’d give me 800,000 bucks if I just grabbed this chick and brought her to their van.” Big then glanced at Ace, who was sitting and watching the whole ordeal with wide eyes. Big then asked, “Why? What did they want with her?” Chris was quick to reply, “I dunno, I swear! They just showed me a picture of her and told me to swipe her. They didn’t tell me anything, I promise!” The robot glared at the man for a moment, his visor coloring him a deep red, meaning danger.

“Look man, it wasn’t personal. I have a kid. I needed the money,” the man said shakily. Big’s system then recolored the man back to normal, indicating he was no longer a threat, and he let him go. “If I see you again, it’ll be your neck being snapped instead,” the robot warned, then watched as Chris took off down the street until he was just a terrified little dot in the distance. He then rushed over to Ace’s side, studying her cheek. “Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Big questioned, and Ace tried to shoo him away. “I’m fine. It's just a scratch,” she muttered, standing and brushing herself off. Big then let the gravity of what happened process.

“Ace...that man just tried to kidnap you. For _800,000_ dollars! You need to tell me what the hell is going on! Who were those people? Why did they want you? Why so much money? More importantly, why did TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE try to take you on the SAME NIGHT! What is going on with you?!” he exclaimed, to Ace’s surprise. Big himself was shocked at his outburst, and noted it as a strange glitch. For a moment, there was silence. Then Ace calmly picked up her bag and said, “I need to go.” Big, his questions unanswered, picked Ace up and put her on his back again. “Hey! I can walk, bolts for brains! Put me down!” Ace demanded, but Big firmly held on to her legs, saying, “No. You're staying right there until we get someplace safe.”

Then he realized: he didn’t know any place safe. To him, as of the data he has gathered and processed for Ace’s current state of environment, seemingly everywhere he thought of going was unsafe to her well-being. He hasn’t even been alive for that long and he was already struggling with a dilemma. And with no information about why these events were occurring, he didn’t know what places were a threat and what wasn’t. He was about to short-circuit from this when Ace suddenly said, “I know a place where we can go. It's been a while but I think I still know the way, if you’ll listen.”

Big immediately replied, “If it's safe, I don’t care. Tell me the way.”

**‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵**

Hours went by as Big trekked down the dusty road. They were on the edge of the city; not too far to be rural but far enough to be on the edge. His strides were not hindered by Ace on his back, relaying instructions to keep going for a few feet more. Big was pretty sure they were lost, but didn’t want to say anything as he continued forward. Then, suddenly, he spotted what appeared to be a small, square warehouse looking place. It was completely made of metal and had tons of wires draping over the walls. Several satellites jutted out from the top. It was like an evil science lab in a stupid movie.

“That's it! That's the place!” Ace said excitedly, and Big was incredibly doubtful but approached the building nonetheless. Ace slid off his back quickly and ran up the building, Big in close pursuit, not wanting her to get too far away. She then approached a garage-like door, and then knocked in an unfamiliar rhythm. Suddenly, a camera activated near the door and turned to face her. “Who is it?” a voice asked. Big was surprised by how deep it was, and the thick British accent gave him a strange...glitch. It was...as if he’d heard this voice before. Which was ridiculous, as his memory drive showed no records of the voice.

“Don’t be a fuckin’ douche, Gman. Open the damn door ya old bone china!” Ace shouted at the camera. The camera turned off, and the garage door flew open. He heard that same voice say, “Ace?!” Big could see through the sudden flash of light, a silhouette of a person standing at the door. “No, it’s Jeffery, the mailman. Yes, Ace, you doofus,” Ace replied. Suddenly, the shadow launched at her. Big, alarmed, ran to Ace, ready to attack. But he saw that the person...wasn’t exactly a person. His scanners went crazy as he studied the...thing before him. The body looked like a normal human, but the head...the head was a teacup. A literal, ceramic teacup, filled with tea.

Big looked stunned at the creature. He thought at first it might be some kind of mask but he detected no human skeleton. It was a completely ceramic, sentient teacup. It had the British flag painted onto it. Its exterior was all white except for where the flag was painted on its face (cup?). A handle jutted out of the back of its head. Its eyes had no pupils or corneas; they were completely white. It wore a blue sweatshirt with a massive “G” drawn on in marker, and black pants with blue shoes to match its sweatshirt. It squeezed Ace into a hug for a moment before pulling away to examine her.

“I can’t believe it! It’s actually you!” the thing exclaimed, and Ace was quick to flush red and say, “Yeah, it’s me. Calm down, will you?” The teacup laughed a little, then said, “Not a chance. I haven’t seen you in so long! Where have you been? Have you been lying low like I asked? You look tired.” It then suddenly paused, finally noticing Big standing there looking at the pair. Its eyes widened as it stood suddenly. Ace quickly said, “Wait, Gman, don’t worry. He’s with me. This is--!” But Gman, as it was called, suddenly said, “Big?” Ace’s eyes widened in shock.

Gman stepped towards Big, arms out, but Big quickly stepped back, saying, “Don’t come any closer.” Gman looked hurt by the words, arms going back to its sides, saying, “What? Big, it's me. It's Gman. Your friend. Remember?” Big looked the thing up and down before replying, “I don’t believe we’ve ever met. Sorry.” Ace shook her head, shaking away the shock and said, “Wait, wait, wait -- you know this thing?” Gman swiveled his head to look at her, then back at Big. “I...I think it's best we continue this inside,” Gman said, and quickly ushered Ace inside the warehouse. Big was quick at her heels as the door slide shut behind them.


End file.
